"To Where You Are"
Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here... I feel you all around me
Your memory, so clear
Deep in the stillness I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration, Can it be (?)
That you are mine, Forever love... And you are watching over me from up above
Fly me up to where you are Beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight To see you smile ...If only for awhile to know you're there A breath away not far To where you are
Are you gently sleeping ..Here inside my dream...And isn't faith believing All power can't be seen ...As my heart holds you Just one beat away ..I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are my Forever love ....Watching me from up above...And I believe ...That angels breathe ...And that love will live on and never leave
Fly me up To where you are Beyond the distant star ...I wish upon tonight To see you smile....If only for awhile To know you're there ...A breath away not far To where you are.....
I know you're there........
A breath away not far.....To where you are
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My loved ones who have gone on to Heaven before me, you weigh heavily on my mind tonight....and the tears roll softly down my cheeks....thinking of the good ol' days...when our family was whole...and we were ALL together sharing in a wonderful meal together, laughing so much it hurt and enjoying one anothers company...making memories to last a lifetime... it's those memories, I hold near and dear to my heart and in times such as tonight I cling to those memories and relive them in my mind once again.
I'd give anything to be sitting around the kitchen table talking with my Grandma about how good her wonderful meal was and telling her how thankful I was to have her in my life, and still am...as she is with me always...
I'd give anything to be at my Aunt Judy's as I was on Christmas Eve night for many many years....participating in the magic of Santa Claus...and watching her daughters eyes light up with such joy and excitement as she said when she was 4 yrs old "What did I do to deserve all this??" ....to be standing around the kitchen helping her "try" to make her cheese dip...which in turn got the new name "Cheese Soup" after no matter how much cheese she put in it, it wouldn't thicken up for nothing....LOL We laughed and laughed until we cried....I remember us sayin....MMM this is some good cheese soup as we dipped our chips in it...and she said "you nerds, you are eatin it ain't ya" as she laughed and laughed....I can still hear that voice... ohhhh how I miss it so :(
Tonight my heart is heavy....tonight I am feeling blue....the truth is friends i'm having a really hard time this Christmas...it doesn't feel like Christmas to me.... We didn't put our tree up this year, nor send our Christmas cards....that is sooooo not me, as this is my most favorite time of year....but this year has just been.... well..... different.
I went to my SIL's mothers funeral this morning...I never imagined I would have to attend a funeral on Christmas Eve.... when my nephew found out his mamaw had passed away ...he put his feelings down on paper...he is 17 yrs old...and his mother asked him to read it at the service.... it was called "Why can't I cry"....it was beautiful...and brought me to tears...cause I think sometimes we all feel that way....sometimes we just can't cry cause we are so numb to the fact that we lost a very special part of our lives....when a loved one passes on. The service went well and all seem to be holding up as best as to be expected....Thanks so much for the thoughts and prayers.
No matter how blue I feel tonight....I will ALWAYS remember the Reason for the Season ~ the birth of our Lord and Savior...Jesus Christ!
I know I may not be online much within the next day or so....tomorrow we will be having Christmas with my inlaws and saturday we will be having Christmas at my parents....so I just wanted to say this now...
Mom...and all of you who have lost loved ones in your life please take the time to listen to the video above...it has brought me such comfort many many times...when I would think about my Aunt Judy and Grandma...it makes me feel so very close to them...and I hope it brings you comfort as well.... Big Hugs!
I am so very blessed to have the wonderful family and friends I have in my life....I cherish you all!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!!!!!
Merry Christmas everyone!!!!
ReplyDeleteI forgot to add that to my entry :)
Love & Hugs
Me
Merry Christmas to you and Jeff and Beau!!!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful words in the beginning.
Beautiful sentiments and wonderful memories.
Christmas will do that. Smells, sights, and songs bring back Christmas Past.
Love and happiness to you and yours,
Jack & Sherry, having a Florida Christmas right now it is 73 and I seee some sunshine!
Oh my Terri, I feel your pain, your sadness and you know what ?? It took me 20 years to begin to feel like I could live with the fact my son and all of my family is gone, but this time it was not overwhelming. I can even deal with Just Joe and me and Spunky being stuck home in a blizzard. It will be better next year. Hug Beau for me and have a Merry Christmas.
ReplyDeleteAs we get older, we naturally lose the elders of our families. We women become the caretakes. The hostesses. The matriarchs. Like I said, not a job I wanted so soon. It's been 20 Christmases w/o my mother. Now I am a grandmother (I don't know HOW-I'm not a day over 22+33--of FIVE granddaughters ages 13 to 2. And in July there will be TWO more little Miller grands. I love to cook & loved helping my MIL or SIL with Holiday dinners when they were doing them. Now my kids have their own In Laws that they have to juggle with our side of the family. On Christmas Eve I got an email from one of Mom's best friends. I'm talking...if Mom had been alive, she & Aunt Pat would have been friends for over 5o or 6o years! I call her Aunt Pat cuz she was one of 4 sisters & Mom had 4 sisters and they all grew up together. Aunt Pat had just got my Christmas card & I'd writen to her about my son & his wife expecting twins. She said "Oh Barb, what blessing & a joy. Your Mom would have had so much with twins...with ALL your grandbabies." I just burst into hysterical tears. Even tho it's been 20 yrs. Richard was freaked out thinking something was wrong. I was hysterical because I missed my Mommy. Dad too. But he lived long enough to see some of his grands. I was angry too. Because my Mom made the choice to continue to smoke 2 yrs after she was diagnosed with lung disease. COPD. Emphysema. If only she'd quit she could have possibly lived a lot longer. So I had my breakdown. Dusted myself off and went back to being, Mom, MIL, Wife & Gramma. Those are my hats to wear now. We'll always miss those who came in & them left us. It's sad, but it's life. Hope you have a great day tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteLuv N Hugs, Barb *queenb
I'm sorry you're having a rough time, Terri. This time of year always seems to bring our lost loved ones back to us with a clarity that can hurt.
ReplyDeleteJust be with your family as much as you can...and know we adore you!
XOXO