When girls drink too much...hehe(I can so relate)

WHEN WE GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH............   

1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA
WHERE OUR PURSE IS.   

 2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND
WIGGLING      OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE     
MOVE AROUND.   

3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS     
AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.   

4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE
REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE      A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE
WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.   

 5. WE DROP OUR 3:00 A.M. SUBMARINE SANDWICH ON THE
FLOOR     (WHICH WE'RE EATING EVEN THOUGH WE ARE NOT THE LEAST BIT HUNGRY),    
PICK IT UP AND CARRY ON EATING IT   

6.WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE
SEE     THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.   

7. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP
UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAYS YOU SAY "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS
SONG!"   

8. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US   

9. THE MAN WE'RE FLIRTING WITH USED TO BE OUR 5TH GRADE TEACHER.   

10. THE URGE
TO TAKE OFF ARTICLES OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A TABLE       AND SING OR DANCE
BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING TO US.   

11. OUR EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO
STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN       SO WE KEEP THEM HALF CLOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS
EXOTICALLY SEXY.   

12. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD
AT IT.   

13. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US        BY
GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE        CAN NO LONGER TASTE
THE GIN.   

14. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY       
LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR    

15. WE START EVERY CONVERSATION
WITH A BOOMING,        "DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY BUT..."   

16. WE FAIL TO
NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT.   

17. OUR HUGS BEGIN TO
RESEMBLE WRESTLING TAKE-DOWN MOVES.   

18. WE ARE TIRED SO WE JUST SIT ON THE
FLOOR
     (WHEREVER WE HAPPEN TO BE STANDING) AND TAKE A QUICK NAP.   

19. WE BEGIN
LEAVING THE BUTTONS OPEN ON OUR BUTTON FLY PANTS        TO CUT DOWN ON THE TIME
WE'RE IN THE BATHROOM AWAY FROM OUR DRINK.   

20. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE
WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT       THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.