It has already been a month ago today, since my aunt Judy passed away. All the emotions are sinking in all over again as if it were only yesterday.
All i could do for the last 2 nights when i lay in bed, is think of her...i cannot get a good nights rest...my heart is just broken!
My tears are flowing nonstop tonight, i have needed this cleansing cry for awhile now... I think reality has finally set in.
I was looking in my old cellphone earlier...scrolling through to find a number and ran across her home and cell #'s...and just had a complete meltdown...is this normal...? I mean something as simple as that making me have a meltdown... then i looked at my pics in the old phone and there was one of her in there, right after her hair had started growing back...and she was grinning ear to ear... I just want to hug her!!! Just once more....is that too much to ask..? and tell her how much i love and miss her....and it's only been a month!
I can't even write anymore...i'll just leave ya with this...a song that means so much to me....
Music Archive Videos: 1 of 10: Josh Groban :Closer :'You Raise Me Up'
You asked if your behavior is normal...I assure you it is...try to remember the positive, that God prepared a place for us, and that you will see her again.... (((((Terri))))))))))) ~Meg
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, I guess it has finally hit you, and this isn't an easy time. Sweetie, although you can't hug her she will hear you if you tell her how much you love her and miss her. You can't see her but she's still close. I wish I could take the pain away for you, I really do. I hope even through the tears you will smile from the good memories.
ReplyDeleteHugs!!
~ Jenny
I am sorry the emotion are still so strong, I am sure she knows how much you love her and miss her
ReplyDeleteMissy
It's Okay for you to be emotional, It has not been very long since you lost your Aunt..I takes time to grieve and heal after loosing someone you love.
ReplyDeleteAbout the ? you asked, I remember right after my Gram's died, it had been about a month, I was in the grocery store, and I basically burst into tears.
Greif and emotions come at all different times. It's normal.
~Nikki~
Yes, I think it's normal. We all grieve the lose of a loved one in our own way. Your way is your normal way, if that makes sense. Wish I could give you a huge hug right now.
ReplyDeleteTerra
It's all normal and let the tears flow. I know when I lost my mother, it came like that out of the blue. It will happen less frequently and soon you'll smile rather than cry when U do think of her. Take care. Hugs, Barb.
ReplyDeleteyes it is normal. everyone grieves in their own way. she seems like a very special lady she was lucky to have someone like you in her life
ReplyDeletehugs
emily
sweetie Isaiah has been gone for 7 yrs and i stil cry when i smell him hear his name .... it is ok to cry and feel this way , i try not to cry anymore mourning a loss only makes them stay her longer to make sure u are ok .... once u are ok with what happned they are able to move on ....as they all wnat us to do.... it hurts yes with long hours of pain .... but look at what all u have to gain ...... u ahve a wonderful gaurdian angel now ;) try to stay positive , would she want to see u upset /?? thats what i ask myself .... if u need a chat i am here love ya chica keep that beautiful head up u deserve it ;)
ReplyDeleteOh Terri. I understand. I really do. GBU, Shelly
ReplyDeleteYes you are completely normal Terri. Grief is a long process hon. It really is. Hang in there. HUGS OXOXOOXO
ReplyDeleteIt takes time to heal when you lose someone you love. It's normal to miss them that much and think about them like you are. After all you'll never forget her, and you know that in your heart. (((HUGS))) and ::wipes away your tears::
ReplyDelete~Tiffany
HUGS, Terri...yeah, that is completely normal to fall apart when you find message and cell phone numbers and things. It's all part of the grieving process and tears are cleansing for the soul. Eventually, they won't flow as often but you will never forget. My dad died in 1994 and at least once or twice a year, I absolutely bawl like a baby but the intense, aching pain has subsided. Love ya, Chris
ReplyDeleteOh, Terri, Sweetie, I know how you're feeling, because I'm feeling the same way. Just go with it... feel the pain.. look at the pictures.. remember her smile.. and cry. Let it out.. and cry until you have no more tears left. And then.. take a deep breath, and move forward. Move forward for just today. Tomorrow will take care of itself. That's what I have to keep telling myself to do.
ReplyDeletePrayers are with you Terri..
Hugs,
Jackie
Absolutly is normal. You have to grieve in your own way about your loved ones. And it is just completely normal. Nicki
ReplyDelete